http://community.aetv.com/service/displayDiscussionThreads.kickAction?w=267410&as=119137&d=775212 NAR-ANON: A SUPPORT THREAD FOR THE FRIENDS AND FAMILIES OF ADDICTSNAR-ANON FAMILY GROUPS: IS A 12-STEP PROGRAM FOR THE FRIENDS AND FAMILIES OF ADDICTS. WE OFTEN FIND OUR PROGRAM WHEN WE ARE EXHAUSTED AND ANGRY. AFTER ALL, WHAT MORE COULD WE POSSIBLY DO TO EFFECT CHANGE IN THE ADDICT WE LOVE.BECAUSE OF THE SIMILARITY IN SPELLING, THERE ARE THOSE WHO THINK WE'RE AFFILIATED WITH THE NON 12-STEP SCIENTOLOGY PROGRAM CALLED, "NARCONON." NOT ONLY ARE WE NOT AFFILIATED, WE HAVE TOTALLY OPPOSITE PERSPECTIVES ON WHAT CONSTITUTES RECOVERY.IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS, PLEASE FEEL FREE TO CONTACT OUR WORLD SERVICE OFFICE (MONDAY-THURSDAY) 800.477.6291 WE HAVE NO AFFILIATION WITH ANY OTHER GROUP........OUR SOLE PURPOSE IS TO CONNECT WITH, AND SUPPORT, THE FRIENDS AND FAMILIES OF ADDICTS.NAR-ANON: http://www.naranon.com/forumNEW: NAR-ANON FAMILY GROUPS WEBSITE: http://www.nar-anon.org/naranon Mon, 22 Apr 2013 20:57:12 GMT 2013-04-22T20:57:12Z http://community.aetv.com/service/displayDiscussionThreads.kickAction?w=267410&as=119137&d=775212#discussionThread_8647080 PRELUDE TO THE TWELVE STEPS1.We admitted we were powerless over nothing — that we could manage our addict’s life perfectly.2.Came to believe that our addict was insane and that our greater power could restore them to sanity.3.Made a decision that “our will be done, come hell or high water.”4.Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of everyone in our life.5.Admitted to the world at large the exact nature of our addict’s and others’ wrongs.6.Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defective characters.7.Arrogantly pointed out the shortcomings of our addict.8.Made a list of all persons who had harmed us and decided to never forgive them.9.Made direct amends for our addict wherever possible, especially when to do so was financially and emotionally devastating.10.         Continued to take the inventory of others and when they were wrong, promptly told them about it.11.         Sought through manipulation and nagging to improve our control over our addict, praying only that they knuckle under and do things our way.12.         Having had a nervous breakdown as a result of these steps…we tried to blame others and to get sympathy and pity in all our affairs.Then finally …WE ADMITTED WE WERE POWERLESS OVER THE ADDICT –
THAT OUR LIVES HAD BECOME UNMANAGEABLE.  Mon, 22 Apr 2013 20:57:12 GMT http://community.aetv.com/service/displayDiscussionThreads.kickAction?w=267410&as=119137&d=775212#discussionThread_8647080 aintnofoolnomo 2013-04-22T20:57:12Z http://community.aetv.com/service/displayDiscussionThreads.kickAction?w=267410&as=119137&d=775212#discussionThread_8643728 I vividly remember those kind faces who greeted me when I first entered the rooms of Nar-Anon Family Groups. It took me a year of lame excuses for not starting my own recovery program. I worried about running into some I might know and didn't see the value of getting my own support.I have "kept coming back," because the program and those who attend the meetings gave me the courage to change the only life I could: my own.I am a happy person today; not because someone else made me that way, but rather because I chose to be happy and have done the work to make it so.Please join me. Fri, 12 Apr 2013 03:41:33 GMT http://community.aetv.com/service/displayDiscussionThreads.kickAction?w=267410&as=119137&d=775212#discussionThread_8643728 aintnofoolnomo 2013-04-12T03:41:33Z http://community.aetv.com/service/displayDiscussionThreads.kickAction?w=267410&as=119137&d=775212#discussionThread_8641586 Please check out our Nar-Anon Family Group website: www.nar-anon.organd our Nar-Anon Family Forum: www.naranon.com/forumWe are the friends and families of addicts. If someone else's addiction has caused you grief, please join us to learn how to live a better way. Fri, 05 Apr 2013 20:59:08 GMT http://community.aetv.com/service/displayDiscussionThreads.kickAction?w=267410&as=119137&d=775212#discussionThread_8641586 aintnofoolnomo 2013-04-05T20:59:08Z http://community.aetv.com/service/displayDiscussionThreads.kickAction?w=267410&as=119137&d=775212#discussionThread_8641584 I have started a thread for him so that he can tell you all about it. He seems to know quite a bit, perhaps he's been a devotee for too long!!! Fri, 05 Apr 2013 20:57:21 GMT http://community.aetv.com/service/displayDiscussionThreads.kickAction?w=267410&as=119137&d=775212#discussionThread_8641584 aintnofoolnomo 2013-04-05T20:57:21Z http://community.aetv.com/service/displayDiscussionThreads.kickAction?w=267410&as=119137&d=775212#discussionThread_8641564 Posted By: aintnofoolnomoSerenity PrayerGod, grant me the SERENITY to accept the things I cannot change,COURAGE to change the things I can, andWISDOM to know the difference.Nar-Anon has given me the support I needed to get myself "unstuck" and the drum up the courage to change the things I could. When I first arrived on the doorsteps of Nar-Anon, I thought I was going to a class about "fixing the addict." I so wanted to buy the instruction manual and get everything back to "normal." I just wanted addiction, drugs and disrespect out of my life and I was exhausted already from trying to prevent all the consequences: life had so many twists and turns, that I just couldn't keep up. The phone calls were incessant with drama and pain.............I just wanted it to stop.So, my first best step was to stop answering the phone. I let ALL calls go to the answering machine so that I could decide whether or not to respond. It was a relief to give up that misguided sense of obligation to answer every call. Where did that come from?????My second best step came from giving myself permission NOT to respond to disrespect. I could listen and then disengage from it. They call it, staying in your "hula hoop." Does the disrespect have anything to do with me or is it just a mentally ill person venting on the "easy target." As Mahatma Gandhi said, "Nobody can hurt me without my permission."Some people are not open to change..................they are stuck in their own miserable existences. I will not participate in their misery; rather, I will detach and move forward with acceptance and purpose.Even if that includes spreading inaccurate information, such as promoting religious fundamentalism as a 'cure' for an alleged 'medical disease'There are real ramifications for the spread of this information. People can and do die because of the misinformation promoted by the AA faith and recovery industry.People need to read the "Orange Papers" and the writings of Dr. Thomas Szasz. Fri, 05 Apr 2013 19:11:22 GMT http://community.aetv.com/service/displayDiscussionThreads.kickAction?w=267410&as=119137&d=775212#discussionThread_8641564 DeConstructor 2013-04-05T19:11:22Z http://community.aetv.com/service/displayDiscussionThreads.kickAction?w=267410&as=119137&d=775212#discussionThread_8641538 Serenity PrayerGod, grant me the SERENITY to accept the things I cannot change,COURAGE to change the things I can, andWISDOM to know the difference.Nar-Anon has given me the support I needed to get myself "unstuck" and the drum up the courage to change the things I could. When I first arrived on the doorsteps of Nar-Anon, I thought I was going to a class about "fixing the addict." I so wanted to buy the instruction manual and get everything back to "normal." I just wanted addiction, drugs and disrespect out of my life and I was exhausted already from trying to prevent all the consequences: life had so many twists and turns, that I just couldn't keep up. The phone calls were incessant with drama and pain.............I just wanted it to stop.So, my first best step was to stop answering the phone. I let ALL calls go to the answering machine so that I could decide whether or not to respond. It was a relief to give up that misguided sense of obligation to answer every call. Where did that come from?????My second best step came from giving myself permission NOT to respond to disrespect. I could listen and then disengage from it. They call it, staying in your "hula hoop." Does the disrespect have anything to do with me or is it just a mentally ill person venting on the "easy target." As Mahatma Gandhi said, "Nobody can hurt me without my permission."Some people are not open to change..................they are stuck in their own miserable existences. I will not participate in their misery; rather, I will detach and move forward with acceptance and purpose. Fri, 05 Apr 2013 16:49:15 GMT http://community.aetv.com/service/displayDiscussionThreads.kickAction?w=267410&as=119137&d=775212#discussionThread_8641538 aintnofoolnomo 2013-04-05T16:49:15Z http://community.aetv.com/service/displayDiscussionThreads.kickAction?w=267410&as=119137&d=775212#discussionThread_8641390 Posted By: aintnofoolnomoSo many of us get "caught up" in someone else's chaos. The "disease of addiction" is a dark and dismal place to live and yet, we hop right on the "crazy train" along with the addict who is riding that death-defying ride.Why do we do this? A misguided sense of responsibility to fix what's wrong? Guilt? Fear? Or, is it a loss of self-worth? Do we accept bad behavior from others because we don't believe we deserve any better? Is it hard to imagine living in peace and actually being happy? Can we imagine kindness coming out of someone's mouth instead of vulgarities and disrespect? Whose fault is it that we have come to live this way and accept what we would never allow someone to do to our loved one?We are not children, children are the true victims; we are adults and we can choose to live a better life. We can get off the "crazy train" and board another. We can set healthy boundaries of self-protection at our front door and not permit chaos and insanity to take over our homes. We can change our phone numbers. We can block callers on our phones. We can choose NOT to engage in unhealthy relationships.We are volunteers, not victims, and we deserve to be happy.I started to get clarity on all these issues when I spent some time in Nar-Anon Family Groups and gave myself permission to not answer the phone, not engage with disrespectful people and to take a break from chaos and insanity.Except 'The "disease of addiction" is not actually a real 'disease'It is a concoction of the AA/NA/NarcAnon Faith in full cooperation of the Recovery Industry Cartel.Real diseases do not have to go up for a 'hand vote' with organizations such as the American Medical Association. Fri, 05 Apr 2013 03:49:50 GMT http://community.aetv.com/service/displayDiscussionThreads.kickAction?w=267410&as=119137&d=775212#discussionThread_8641390 DeConstructor 2013-04-05T03:49:50Z http://community.aetv.com/service/displayDiscussionThreads.kickAction?w=267410&as=119137&d=775212#discussionThread_8633076 So many of us get "caught up" in someone else's chaos. The "disease of addiction" is a dark and dismal place to live and yet, we hop right on the "crazy train" along with the addict who is riding that death-defying ride.Why do we do this? A misguided sense of responsibility to fix what's wrong? Guilt? Fear? Or, is it a loss of self-worth? Do we accept bad behavior from others because we don't believe we deserve any better? Is it hard to imagine living in peace and actually being happy? Can we imagine kindness coming out of someone's mouth instead of vulgarities and disrespect? Whose fault is it that we have come to live this way and accept what we would never allow someone to do to our loved one?We are not children, children are the true victims; we are adults and we can choose to live a better life. We can get off the "crazy train" and board another. We can set healthy boundaries of self-protection at our front door and not permit chaos and insanity to take over our homes. We can change our phone numbers. We can block callers on our phones. We can choose NOT to engage in unhealthy relationships.We are volunteers, not victims, and we deserve to be happy.I started to get clarity on all these issues when I spent some time in Nar-Anon Family Groups and gave myself permission to not answer the phone, not engage with disrespectful people and to take a break from chaos and insanity. Sat, 23 Mar 2013 17:54:04 GMT http://community.aetv.com/service/displayDiscussionThreads.kickAction?w=267410&as=119137&d=775212#discussionThread_8633076 aintnofoolnomo 2013-03-23T17:54:04Z http://community.aetv.com/service/displayDiscussionThreads.kickAction?w=267410&as=119137&d=775212#discussionThread_8607003 This silly little phrase came to me when I was listening to members share their experience, strength and hope in our Nar-Anon Family Group meeting. They each described situations that they had where they had options to act or react; all came to the conclusion that "working" their program helped them choose the slower and more patient way of acting rather reacting and that gave them the confidence to face other challenging situations without fear.I am always amazed at the lessons we learn from each other.It does work IF you work it! :) Tue, 19 Feb 2013 01:39:11 GMT http://community.aetv.com/service/displayDiscussionThreads.kickAction?w=267410&as=119137&d=775212#discussionThread_8607003 aintnofoolnomo 2013-02-19T01:39:11Z http://community.aetv.com/service/displayDiscussionThreads.kickAction?w=267410&as=119137&d=775212#discussionThread_8604155 After watching the follow-up series offered on the Intervention site today; later, I heard the Eagles' song, "Already Gone" and was inspired by a simple stanza that says a lot about the misery we blame on others:"Well I know it wasn't you who held me down Heaven knows it wasn't you who set me free So often times it happens that we live our lives in chains And we never even know we have the key." Recovery is about learning and sharing...............it changes everything. Fri, 15 Feb 2013 19:34:58 GMT http://community.aetv.com/service/displayDiscussionThreads.kickAction?w=267410&as=119137&d=775212#discussionThread_8604155 aintnofoolnomo 2013-02-15T19:34:58Z http://community.aetv.com/service/displayDiscussionThreads.kickAction?w=267410&as=119137&d=775212#discussionThread_8582079 The topic of "Higher Power" often comes up because many of us struggle with the concept when we limit our imaginations to just the old guy with the long white robe and flowing beard.  Many of us just can't embrace that figure; so many run for the hills out of fear that they'll be required to "believe" in the "God in a Box" concept. For those of us who don't let the term, "Higher Power" become a stumbling block, we can get some clarity on the issue by just opening our ears and listening to those who have other concepts that work for them.I have employed, and continue to employ, the concept of my Nar-Anon group to be my "Higher Power."  I have been blessed with many lessons and given many survival skills and tools along my journey, so my group had bee a true blessing in my life.  I show up each week to learn more and to share what I have learned along my way.Using the Steps to bring clarity, and honesty, into my life has been a life changing experience.  I took a "leap of faith" and took the Steps to recovery. “Faith is taking the first step even when you can't see the whole staircase.” ― Martin Luther King Jr. Thu, 24 Jan 2013 03:39:15 GMT http://community.aetv.com/service/displayDiscussionThreads.kickAction?w=267410&as=119137&d=775212#discussionThread_8582079 aintnofoolnomo 2013-01-24T03:39:15Z http://community.aetv.com/service/displayDiscussionThreads.kickAction?w=267410&as=119137&d=775212#discussionThread_8529491 For a long time, I thought my helping the addict was the answer to getting the addict delivered to recovery sooner rather than later. What I didn't understand was that by helping, I was actually getting in the way of his progress: I helped him stay comfortable in his "arrested development."Ironically, his immaturity frustrated me to no end, but I didn't realize that I was part of the problem rather than part of the solution. I gave him a warm and comfortable home to live in, good food, money to "help him" get by," and a plethora of favors that made it possible for him to stay in his addiction far longer than I wanted him to stay there.Thankfully, a very wise therapist informed my that my giving and helping were detrimental to my son's success and could actually deliver him to his grave. OMG...............that was a light bulb moment for me.It was then that I realized I need to change the course of my actions just as much as he did. I gave him the freedom to stumble and fall and the opportunity to pick himself up and get on with his life: however he chose to live it. In turn, I freed myself up to embrace a recovery program of my own and the opportunity to take back my life.All I had to do was get out of the way.[image] Thu, 20 Dec 2012 04:30:17 GMT http://community.aetv.com/service/displayDiscussionThreads.kickAction?w=267410&as=119137&d=775212#discussionThread_8529491 aintnofoolnomo 2012-12-20T04:30:17Z http://community.aetv.com/service/displayDiscussionThreads.kickAction?w=267410&as=119137&d=775212#discussionThread_8505431 So often I've encountered others who arrive in terrible pain and misery; many feel victimized by the addict they've been trying to help/fix/manipulate and they just want life to get "normal" again.Well, "normal" is different for each one of us and is often just about the life we've grown accustomed to, rather than the life we dreamt of living.  Many forget what happiness and serenity feels like and just tolerate abuse and chaos because they feel there's no way out.Just like the Interventionists here show us, there's always a way out.........all we have to do is become willing to make the changes required of us. Twelve Steps of Nar-AnonWe admitted we were powerless over the addict — that our lives had become unmanageable.Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.Made direct amends to such people wherever possible except when to do so would injure them or others.Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others and to practice these principles in all our affairs. Tue, 04 Dec 2012 23:34:39 GMT http://community.aetv.com/service/displayDiscussionThreads.kickAction?w=267410&as=119137&d=775212#discussionThread_8505431 aintnofoolnomo 2012-12-04T23:34:39Z http://community.aetv.com/service/displayDiscussionThreads.kickAction?w=267410&as=119137&d=775212#discussionThread_8477943 I often think about "Happiness" at the beginning of the holiday season, because so many of us suffer from all the losses and expectations.  Many of us grieve for those who are gone and for those who are living, but absent from our lives.  Long ago, I had to come to terms with the fact that "life isn't fair," and it sure doesn't play out as I planned.  I had a gazillion expectations for myself and my children, but we all traveled down uncharted paths and, thankfully, embraced our own recovery programs and found our way back to each other.  Different endings happen to different people, but what we do have in common is that we've all been deeple affected by the "Disease of Addiction."I take it upon myself, each year, to evaluate my status and seek out alternative ways to find happiness. Volunteering in my community and doing service in my recovery program, "Nar-Anon Family Groups" has changed who I am and how I define myself.  Getting outside of my pain and seeking joy has brought me many gifts for which I am grateful.I have learned that I can't change anyone, but me and that endeavor should keep me busy for a lifetime.My message to all is this, If you aren't happy with the life you have, create a better one![image] Tue, 20 Nov 2012 19:28:51 GMT http://community.aetv.com/service/displayDiscussionThreads.kickAction?w=267410&as=119137&d=775212#discussionThread_8477943 aintnofoolnomo 2012-11-20T19:28:51Z http://community.aetv.com/service/displayDiscussionThreads.kickAction?w=267410&as=119137&d=775212#discussionThread_8435261  I have gone through a lot of “light bulb” moments throughout my Nar-Anon journey.  Initially, I came to Nar-Anon in search of a cure/fix for the addicts in my life.  I desperately wanted to know how to fix them so that I could live in peace and be happy.  Back then, I felt that the only way I could be happy was if they were happy first, so all my focus was on getting them healthy and happy: I forgot about my own well-being.Making someone else a priority in one’s life has its consequences.  When my babies were little, I never took a day off and certainly never vacationed without them; I rarely went out on a date with my husband and found my relationship with him put on the “back burner.”   I didn’t have the time or the will to focus on our relationship and we ended up being co-parenting roommates.The child rearing years were all about them: they were the most important people in my life and I had no place on my priority list.  I gained weight, smoked too much and became apathetic about my own self-worth.  When the teen years hit and addiction reared its ugly head, I found myself in a whole lot of pain and confusion.  Who were these people I devoted so many of my years to and why were they hurting themselves with poisonous substances?  I thought about that a lot and realized that I would have killed anyone who had hurt my children the way they hurt themselves.  While I spent every waking moment trying to save them from themselves, I devoted nothing to my own well-being and found myself wallowing in pain and seeking advice from the Internet because I was too embarrassed to tell anyone about the addiction in my beautiful family.  When the addiction finally brought us all to our knees, we arranged for an intervention and got my son into treatment.  It was there that I first learned about Nar-Anon and was told that my job was done and that I could now work on myself.  They assured me that the professionals would walk the rest of the way with my son and steer him in the direction of recovery and a new sober life.  Wow, it was scary being set free to seek my own path to recovery from the nightmare that had overwhelmed my life.I procrastinated about going to meetings and came up with excuses why they weren’t for me, but I didn’t sleep well and the pain wouldn’t go away.  When I took the time to really look at my life, I realized that there just had to be a better way to live and so I took my first little baby steps to recovery by walking through the door to my first meeting.  The people were only strangers until the first person shared her experience, strength and hope: I knew I had found a new home and that I was not alone.Hindsight brings 20/20 vision, right?  Well, “If I knew then, what I know now,” I would have gotten myself to Nar-Anon immediately after being told about it.  I wouldn’t have suffered in isolation one more day than I had to; I would have sought out my own recovery and started my path to serenity and good health.  Mon, 22 Oct 2012 17:26:55 GMT http://community.aetv.com/service/displayDiscussionThreads.kickAction?w=267410&as=119137&d=775212#discussionThread_8435261 aintnofoolnomo 2012-10-22T17:26:55Z http://community.aetv.com/service/displayDiscussionThreads.kickAction?w=267410&as=119137&d=775212#discussionThread_8399947 Seems when we're obsessing over our beloved addicts and their self-defeating behaviors; we lament that all we want is for things to be "normal" again. We just want the addict to get clean and change his/her life so that we can all be happy again. We naively believe that there's a "quick fix" out there that we just need to find and all things will be copasetic again.The truth eventually comes out and we realize that the Disease of Addiction took time to bring about our loved one’s downfall and will take a whole lot of effort to remedy the situation. Getting clean is just about stopping a behavior, but recovery is about changing one’s lifestyle and perceptions: the programs are simple, but not easy.As a long time member of Nar-Anon Family Groups, I have witnessed many newcomers come and go; some disappear, some return occasionally and some of us make it a priority in our lives. What I’ve notices is that those who visit occasionally are often “stuck in pain,” because they have not worked their own program of recovery. Some might ask, “Why should I attend meetings, I’m not the addict?”The simple answer is really a question! What brings you to our meeting? There are many things to consider when deciding if you could use support too: Are you what we call the, “Collateral Damage?”; Do you sleep well?’; Do you isolate from others so that you aren’t having to answer questions about your addicted loved one?; Are you emotionally and physically healthy?; and, Do you have healthy relationships with the rest of your family?Twenty Questions: Do I Need Nar-Anon?Questions to help determine if you need Nar-Anon.Ask yourself the following questions and answer them as honestly as you can: - Do you find yourself making excuses, lying or covering up for your child, spouse, relative or friend?- Do you have reason not to trust your child, spouse, relative or friend?- Is it becoming difficult for you to believe his/her explanations?- Do you lie awake worrying about your child, spouse, relative or friend?- Is your child missing school without your knowledge?- Is your spouse missing work and are the bills piling up?- Are your savings mysteriously disappearing?- Are the unanswered questions causing hostility and undermining your marriage?- Are you asking yourself "what's wrong?" and "is it my fault?"- Are your suspicions turning you into a detective and are you afraid of what you might find?- Are normal family disagreements becoming hostile and violent?- Are you cancelling your social functions with vague excuses?- Are you becoming increasingly reluctant to invite friends to your home?- Is concern for your spouse, child or friend causing you headaches, a knotty stomach and extreme anxiety?- Is your spouse/child easily irritated by minute matters?- Does you whole life seem a nightmare?- Are you unable to discuss the situation with friends or relatives because of embarrassment?- Are your attempts at control frustrating?- Do you over compensate and try not to make waves?- Do you keep trying to make things better and nothing helps?If you have answered Yes to four or more of these questions, Nar-Anon may be able to give you the answers you are looking for and the solution for ridding yourself of the pain that robs you of living a full and happy life. Thu, 27 Sep 2012 22:53:04 GMT http://community.aetv.com/service/displayDiscussionThreads.kickAction?w=267410&as=119137&d=775212#discussionThread_8399947 aintnofoolnomo 2012-09-27T22:53:04Z http://community.aetv.com/service/displayDiscussionThreads.kickAction?w=267410&as=119137&d=775212#discussionThread_8376331 Diana’s episode is almost a duplicate of Dennis’ episode. A traumatized child becomes an addict and brings the Disease of Addiction into her/his own family; thus, repeating the cycle of the Family Disease. Diana’s drug of choice is a horrific one……..meth brings down it’s user rather quickly and wreaks havoc on the addict’s life.It was difficult watching Diana’s entire family suffering from their involvement in her life. From her mother who was afraid to get near her (I assume a lot of it had to do with shame and embarrassment and a perceived responsibility for her daughter’s choices – we parents think that way!). Her siblings were grieving and her children were enmeshed in the trauma of loving an addict and enabling her to stay in her disease even longer: that’s a disastrous tightrope many of us walk.It was thrilling to see Diana as a success story and the reunion at the airport, as well as the long awaited smile and hug from her mother was the best blessings of all. Diana, I hope, realizes that she does, indeed, deserve to be loved. I hope she will stay in recovery and enjoy all the blessings of life.Her mom and her children can check out the Nar-Anon meetings in Roseville and Sacramento; their recovery is all about learning to love without all the fear and enabling. We can hate the disease and still love the addict!!!!Thank you, Candy, for being such an inspiration and catalyst for healthy changes! I wish this program was aired decades ago, but I digress………..we didn’t discuss such things back then! Tue, 11 Sep 2012 23:51:22 GMT http://community.aetv.com/service/displayDiscussionThreads.kickAction?w=267410&as=119137&d=775212#discussionThread_8376331 aintnofoolnomo 2012-09-11T23:51:22Z http://community.aetv.com/service/displayDiscussionThreads.kickAction?w=267410&as=119137&d=775212#discussionThread_8353411 Watching the program on Dennis last night was difficult because he was the child of an addict, who was profoundly damaged by the upbringing he had. When his own children were pleading with him to get help because he had been their hero, one could tell that he just could not conceive of anyone believing he was so incredibly awesome and worth saving. He was a broken child of an addict who brought three beautiful children into the world, but had not gotten help and subsequently devastated their lives by becoming an addict himself.While it was very disappointing, at the end, to learn that he walked out of treatment on the third day in (which I’m assuming is the worst point of cravings) and lost out on that fabulous opportunity to turn around his life, it was an ominous sign when he said he’d go to treatment because of his children………….he lost sight of his own self-worth and that getting healthy was for him first, but of course, he didn’t feel worthy.It was heartening to see the rest of the family united in their quest to regain their own relationships with each other. I hope all will reach out and get the support they need because the programs are out there! I am a member of Nar-Anon Family Groups, which has helped me by giving me the tools to take care of myself and to love without trying to control (not always an easy task). Dennis’ children may also benefit from looking into Adult Children of Alcoholics, in addition to Nar-Anon (http://www.adultchildren.org).What I hope most is that the family continues working on their own recovery programs and to make their happiness and good health a priority. Hopefully, one day, Dennis will call and ask for help: if that day comes, I hope they will drive him straight to the rehab, and not bring him into their homes where the chaos can grow like a cancer.Dennis’ children can stop the legacy by getting healthy in all aspects of their lives. Betty Ford Family Program is a great start, but it’s only one week and they’ll need to do the work to get and stay healthy: just like any other fitness programs!Wishing this family and all those other families out there who are suffering!  Reach out for support and change your own lives. Wed, 29 Aug 2012 00:34:11 GMT http://community.aetv.com/service/displayDiscussionThreads.kickAction?w=267410&as=119137&d=775212#discussionThread_8353411 aintnofoolnomo 2012-08-29T00:34:11Z http://community.aetv.com/service/displayDiscussionThreads.kickAction?w=267410&as=119137&d=775212#discussionThread_8334675 Why do we convene on a weekly basis to share our experience, strength and hope (ESH)? One reason is that it improves our lives immensely to be in the presence of family members who have "walked in our shoes," and the other reason is that in "showing up," we're being of service to the recovery group............yes, just showing up is invaluable to all.In Ralph Waldo Emerson's words, "To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived - that is to have succeeded.”Recovery is life changing for all who embrace it. Sun, 19 Aug 2012 21:03:27 GMT http://community.aetv.com/service/displayDiscussionThreads.kickAction?w=267410&as=119137&d=775212#discussionThread_8334675 aintnofoolnomo 2012-08-19T21:03:27Z http://community.aetv.com/service/displayDiscussionThreads.kickAction?w=267410&as=119137&d=775212#discussionThread_8325529 I was very impressed that Intervention insisted that family members get involved in the solution!Sending the addict off to rehab is only part of the equation; getting the blinders off the family members who contribute to the disease (in different ways) can help the addict upon his/her return.When the whole family works at getting honest and healthy, the whole family dynamic changes.The 4 C’sWe didn’t CAUSE it,We can’t CONTROL it,We can’t CURE it, butWe can CONTRIBUTE to it!Sending my appreciation and applause to the insightful interventionists who insist on the family approach to recovery! Tue, 14 Aug 2012 16:25:32 GMT http://community.aetv.com/service/displayDiscussionThreads.kickAction?w=267410&as=119137&d=775212#discussionThread_8325529 aintnofoolnomo 2012-08-14T16:25:32Z